Do you often think things like:
“I don’t deserve it.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“I must work harder.”
“I’ll never find love.”
The voice inside your head can keep you from being happy and successful. Your inner critic is present whenever you use words like “must,” “never,” or “always” to talk to yourself. You’re not alone, though. Even successful people who seem to have it all figured out have thoughts that hold them back.
I chatted to Marie Forleo about this on her Marie TV channel. We agreed that it’s best to acknowledge the inner critic with ‘Thank you for sharing’ or ‘I hear you’ or something similar. Know that you can change the Radio Station and that the inner critic needn’t stop you. You can find the video on YouTube – The Best Method for Silencing your Inner Critic – Marie Forleo. In the video I’m the one with the very white beard – prepare to be dazzled.
What is An Inner Critic?
Your inner critic is the voice inside your head that judges everything you do. It’s all those negative thoughts about your abilities, intelligence, looks, and personality. Some people call it the superego, the saboteur, or the inner judge.Your inner critic can affect every part of your life. It can make you feel bad about yourself and cause problems in your relationships. It can also keep you from reaching your goals.
How to Overcome Self-Sabotage: 5 Strategies to Transform Your Inner Critic into an Ally
Here are five ways to deal with your inner critic and make it work for you.
Recognise and Name Your Saboteurs
Keep a journal to identify your inner saboteurs and how they work. When you write your thoughts, ask if they are true. Then, you can ask yourself how to use them to grow and improve.Some common saboteurs are:Perfectionist: “You should not make a mistake.”Guilt-tripper: “They will never forgive you.”Destroyer: “You are worthless.”For example, if you always delay tasks, your inner critic might call you lazy and disorganised. But you can learn to plan your time and tasks better by listening to your inner critic.
Step Back from Your Inner Critic
Learn to distance yourself from your inner critic. Instead of thinking, “I am a failure,” say, “My inner critic believes I am a failure.” This can help you see that your thoughts are just that – thoughts. Remember, you can say something like, ‘Thank you for sharing’, however I’m going to go ahead anyway.
Affirm Yourself
Keep repeating positive things about yourself. This can encourage positive thoughts and feelings. When you write affirmations, only use positive words and the present tense. Also, make the affirmation more personal by using words like “I can,” “I am,” “I have,” etc.
Practice Self-Compassion
Be nice and understanding to yourself. Accept that everyone makes mistakes. This helps you accept yourself and feel better.
Let Go of Perfectionism
You might have too high standards for yourself and others if you always try to be perfect. You might be afraid of failing. So, perfectionism usually leads to unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Giving up the need to be perfect can help you silence your inner critic and be happier with yourself.
Breaking Free from the Inner Critic: How Can Counselling Help
Self-criticism in small amounts can be motivating. But being too hard on yourself can cause anxiety and other mental health problems or make them worse.Talk to a counsellor or therapist if you find it hard to tame the critical voice within. Counselling can help you understand what triggers your inner critic. They can help you figure out what kinds of inner critics you deal with and give you the tools to overcome them.